Monday, July 7, 2008

LET'S GET GEEKY


For the record, I have never read a comic book (sorry, “graphic novel”), yet I find myself an avid fan of the Superhero Movie. Some would say that’s geeky. And I would say, “shut up.”

For you Superhero Movie novices or naysayers, I give you my travel guide to Superhero Movies:


MUST-SEE SUPERHERO MOVIES:

1. Batman Begins: Simply put, the best Superhero Movie ever made

2. Dark Knight (July 18, 2008): Let’s hope this is an ‘Empire Strikes Back’ and not another ‘Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom’. (Wow, that was a geeky statement.)

3. Spiderman: Toby McGuire as Spiderman, are you serious? Serious like a fox, and it works.

4. Iron Man: Who would have thought Robert Downey Jr. could play a decent superhero, and yet, here we are.

5. X-Men: It’s strange to think that Wolverine spends most of his time doing musical theatre.

6. Spiderman 2: The awesomeness continues, despite more Kirsten Dunst

7. The Incredibles:
Odd that Pixar created a better 'Fantastic Four' than Marvel could

8. X2: X-Men United: What’s with the creepy guy in the wheelchair?

9. Superman Return: As Nikki says, “he’s perfect.” Silly Nikki, don’t you know that Batman is more perfecter?

10. The Incredible Hulk:
A HUGE improvement from the previous incarnation. Plus, it opens in Brazil, which was total déjà vu for me, except, of course, the becoming a giant, green monster part.


SUPERHERO MOVIES TO AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE:

1. Hulk (2003): To quote Michael Scott, “Can I just say that, of all the bad movies, in all the bad movie villages, in all the bad movie worlds, you stand alone, my friend.”

2. Daredevil: Two words, Ben Affleck

3. Batman & Robin: Things George Clooney shouldn’t do: spout off unfounded political views and participate in Batman movies

4. Superman IV: A chubby Superman fights a Fabio-esque villain named Nuclear Man – sounds awesome, right? Not so much.

5. Catwoman: A hot Halle Berry in a black, leather suit couldn’t save this train wreck

6. Fantastic Four: An even a hotter Jessica Alba in Spandex couldn’t save this train wreck


FOR A GOOD LAUGH:

1. Superman II: The funniest movie that never meant to be

2. Batman (1966): Featuring the handiest tool in Batman’s arsenal: the Bat Shark Repellent Spray.

3. Steel: And I thought 'Kazaam' was tops

2 comments:

Rookie Dad said...

Brendan, this is good stuff.

My favorite line: "Spiderman 2: The awesomeness continues, despite more Kirsten Dunst."

Lani said...

K, seriously. You should write a book or something. I love this stuff!