There was a recent debate on the radio show I listen to during my morning commute. The question raised: who is a better character, Edward from Twilight or James Bond? Here are my thoughts: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! There is no debate. Bond is better. Simply look to the photo above for your answer.
Perhaps I am bias, as Nikki and I just saw Quantum of Solace last Friday. It rocked.
“How would you know? You didn’t even read Twilight,” you may say. Ah, but here is my latest confession, I did. (Granted, it was a book on tape, but that counts.) I was prompted to “read” it after Nikki chastised me for judging I book I hadn’t read. Big mistake on my part to accept the challenge.
It was, to say the least, a frustrating ordeal - six hours of a listening to a love-sick teenager describe her boyfriend’s handsomeness and her subsequent physical reactions to said handsomeness. How many times can his “marble chest” take her breath away? How many times will his “steely eyes” make her heart skip a beat? (Way too many.) But wait, he’s got a terrible secret! Something horrible happens to him when he steps into the sunlight…. ready for it? He glistens. That’s right, he glistens in the sunlight, making him even more handsome. What a terrible, scary vampire secret. (Please note heavy sarcastic overtones.)
FINALLY, when another vampire tries to kill her (and something exciting actually happens) the book ends.
I must give Stephanie Meyer credit, however. She is a talented writer. Using the following ingredients, she has concocted a recipe for the perfect, forgive the expression, “Chick Book:”
-An insecure and unassuming teenager becomes the "It" girl at her new school. Little did she know how truly beautiful and special she was!
-A modern dusting off of the Romeo & Juliet story. Forbidden love, etc., etc.
-A modern dusting off of the Romeo & Juliet story. Forbidden love, etc., etc.
-A god-like boyfriend who is an intoxicating enigma of bad boy, cowboy & stalker. Oh, and did I mention that, for some reason, he only has eyes for her? “But why? She’s so plain!” Oh no, she’s the new “It” girl in town. She just didn’t know it.
Barf. Bond is better. Case closed.
*PS – I may be sleeping on the couch tonight.
7 comments:
Brendan, I admire your candid post, but I must disagree. I agree that Pierce Brosnon and Shawn Connery were excellent, but this latest guy is like watching my dad jump out of airplane. The current BOND seems like an old codger, with a pock marked face. Dont like him at all. Nikki must have liked the books. Im with her...to the couch you go!
SO FUNNY! My husband would agree with you completely!
I totally agree with you. Bond is way better and Daniel Craig is awesome. I was OK with Twilight until the meadow scene . . . then I just wanted it to end. For me, Buffy was way better.
Brendan -
As a "Chick" who recently read Twilight (last week actually, I figured I better jump on the bandwagon before the movie came out) I'd have to say - I can't agree with your assesment more. 350 pages of NOTHING happening is more than I can take. The last 100 pages were more interesting, but not enough to get over the first 100. But I also must say that Bond too is YUCK. Here's a total guy thing: Watch people get chased around by boat, car, motorcycle, on foot, and finally in plane. Then have absolutely nothing revealed, no plot thickened and no day saved.
I didn't care for "Twilight" either...but your review really made me laugh.
You're just jealous that your skin doesn't glisten in teh sun like Edwards!
Go Team Edward!!!
Brendan:
I didn't think it was possible..... but I like you even more after this post! --Nalani
Post a Comment