After much persuasion, I am writing my first blog entry. Here goes:
Several months ago, Jason, my brother-in-law, was visited by the Genius Fairy and decided to plan a Boyz (that’s right, “Boyz”) Weekend to Los Angeles to attend the BYU/UCLA game. I was especially excited by his idea, as it would replace our usual summer get together of Mario Kart Weekend. As some of you may know, MK64 has become dead to me over the years. Perhaps year after year of close calls, dashed hopes and the cheaply obtained lightning boxes of others finally killed my racing spirit.
As its name suggests, Boys Weekend included all Burke brothers, brothers-in-law and Dad. The only one MIA was our recent family acquisition, Bretatouille. I’m not sure why he couldn’t come. It’s not like he had any big events in his life that would prevent him from booking a plane ticket in advance. We’ll get him next year.
My trip began on the tarmac of the Salt Lake Airport where I was sandwiched between a small, dirty window and Mr. L.A. You know who I’m talking about. He’s tan, has flowy hair and stubble, wears a tight shirt and a leather bracelet that serves no useful purpose. He’s also got a pair of jeans with intricate designs on places other than the pockets (no offense, Chris). Mr. L.A.’s main accessory, however, is his brand new iPhone. Meanwhile, I was sporting my Sony Walkman (circa 1996) in order to listen to my books on tape.
I’m not normally embarrassed of my Walkman, but Mr. L.A. purposefully made me feel ashamed of my little piece of retro tech. He would pull out his iPhone every so often simply to touch the screen or polish its shiny surface, all the while giving me and my Walkman dirty looks. He even went so far as push stop on my Walkman to ask me if I had seen his copy of SkyMall, which he didn’t read after I pulled it from my seat pouch. Why had I left my iPod at home? And why can’t they make more books on tape books on CD? Annoyed to the hilt and ready to retaliate, I did the one thing that only thing I could think of and “accidentally” place my elbow on his armrest volume button blasting his ears during the in-flight show. Childish? Maybe. But I felt better.
I arrived at LAX (aka – the giant bathroom) and met Bret and Michael at the rental car agency. The agent gave us plenty of cars to choose from, and Bret chose the one he liked best, and the three of us spent the better part of an hour cruising through greater Los Angeles traffic in a tan Dodge Caravan. A very entertaining journey.
At the hotel, I learned I would be sharing a bed with Dad. Chris and David had already laid claim to the bed nearest the TV, and Kevin wouldn’t arrive until Friday night. This didn’t seem like a bad arrangement until bedtime rolled around. As Chris, David can attest, Dad’s snoring was truly, truly outrageous. Not only was his volume impressive, but his range was inhuman. I actually heard noises brand new to me, noises unlike anything I had ever heard before, and I watch a lot of Animal Planet.
After several hours of snoring induced insomnia, I decided to move away from the epicenter of the noise and made a bed for myself on the floor. I fell asleep around 4:00 am and later learned that David and Chris had managed to fall asleep by listening to their iPods, on high. Where was mine, you ask? Not funny.
With a good night’s rest, for most of us, we drove to Magic Mountain early Friday morning. For those of you who have never been the park, here are a few tips:
- Go after school has started, and you will avoid long lines
- Make friends with other BYU fans in the ticket line and get a coupon good for 50 percent off general admittance
- Do NOT visit the water ride early, or you will spend the rest of the day drying your shoes and socks (unless you’re Dad who figured out a way to dry his faster)
- Do NOT visit the water ride early two times in a row
- Avoid making any hand gestures that may be interpreted as gang signs. On a similar note, leave all bandanas and firearms at home
- Don’t bother wasting your time with any rides other than Tatsu and X (best ride ever, unless you’re a fan of tan mini vans)
Saturday morning was filled with anticipation. After stuffing ourselves at Islands Burgers, home of the Hawaiian Burger (another best ever), we walked to Rose Bowl where the BYU tailgate party was in full effect. Chris, Michael and Jason ran into friends while Dad managed to meet more relatives we had never met and promptly introduce us. We even ran into legendary BYU football coach LaVell Edward who had the honor of taking a photo with Chris and me.
I am not kidding when I say about one-fourth to one-third of those in attendance at the Rose Bowl were BYU supporters, and I’d venture to say that more than half of the stadium noise came from those fans.
To avoid stirring up bad feelings, I will not comment on the actual game except to say that it was my fault BYU lost. I foolishly purchased a new BYU T-shirt during the tailgate party and stuffed my Lucky shirt into a backpack. I didn’t realize until half-time and put Lucky back on. BYU made a strong comeback effort, but it was too late. Not even the power of Lucky could overcome the deficit. Lesson learned. To Nikki’s dismay, I herby pledge to wear Lucky to each and every BYU football game indefinitely.
Tired and morally defeated we went to pizza (where I defeated David 7-1 in a rousing game of air hockey) and headed back to the hotel. We went to church the next morning in a local Pasadena ward where I was the only person dressed in jeans. Blast my weaksauce packing skills!
The flight home was uneventful with the exception of the lady sitting next to me who wouldn’t stop telling me all about her Mormon vampire book. Yet another problem easily avoided had I had my iPod.
Thus ended our Boyz Weekend and thus ends my first blog. With the exception of the BYU loss, it was a great weekend. Time spent with brothers, brother-in-law and Dad is always a good time.
